ew, agh, and gak.

Shredding Anus.

(The collective fault of Tempest, NightSkye, and Purge. "Guilt by association!" (THWACK!))

Ring My Bull.

Arriviste Cow.
Nouveau Biche.

Sometimes, I get stuck behind stupid people moving slowly.

Fools in Transit.
Moron Migration.

Dent the Molly Guard.

Ernie Must Be Stopped.

Predatory Pamphlet.

Acolytes of Piffle.

Flesh-Eating Cassettes.

Autopiraticism.

Quit the Wankery.

Near-Faithful Wreck.

My Evident Imposture.

Compachtyderm.

(I think this is the species name for the mimmoths in Girl Genius.)

Evil Arthropods.

Death Housewarming.

No 'F' in 'Clue'.

Miss Southpawn.

Miscreantelope.

Char-Broiled Angel.

Transvestite Wolves.

(taken from a cover blurb on an issue of the British lad mag, Bizarre)

26 July 2006 - The Band Name Game, played with Shell and Stringer. *

Band Name Game 4:

Winner:
Condemned Texas Mayhem

Runners-Up:
Balls
Ugly Balls
Illegal Pants
Stompage

Honorable Mention:
Grey Machete
Crappy Last Leg
Mule Punk
Zippy Texas
Imitatable Poultry

26 July 2006 - The Band Name Game, played with Shell and Stringer. *

Band Name Game 3:

Winner: TIE -
Sluts
Teats Injury

Runners-Up:
STankass Thing
Pestilent Stankass Douchebag
Social Sluts

Honorable Mention
Social Pants (with song "Bring Your Own Boxers")
Peeling Freakshow (with song "Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Shedding")
Emaciated Nuns

26 July 2006 - The Band Name Game, played with Shell and Stringer. *

>Band Name Game 2:

Winner:
Shanking Wookie

Runners-Up:
Sackage
Grabbing Monk
Stabbed Hard Snake
Loud Potato

Honorable Mention:
Frownage (with song "We're Just Emo")
Turned Tears (with song "Mommy Never Hugged Us")
Sparkly Rain
Growling Vapo-Rub
Shanked Beam

26 July 2006 - The Band Name Game, played with Shell and Stringer. *

>Band Name Game 1:

Winner: TIE-
Sucking Pork
Violent Accusation

Runners-Up:
File the Pork
Cheesy Pornographers
Porkage
Priest Pork
Deadly Season

Honorable Mention:
Addled Denise (with song "Where's My Hairspray?")
Drunks Hamburger
Bastardage

TrIAthlete really doesn't have enough work.

He suggests these two:

Jesus Juice. - with hit songs "The Liquidator," "Look What I Can Do" (This was apparently created during a discussion of the Cana wedding feast, where Jesus turned water to wine.)

Not Quite Palindrome.

Bands of 1999.

(I was digging through some old e-mails and found this. Credit/blame for some of them must go to CooGWuh, but I can no longer recall which were hers, and which were mine.)

Nipple Hickeys
Plague Rats
Distended Colon
Carved Pillow
Waxed Cow
Ankle-Bitin' Altoyds
Mushbox
Beezus
Genital Dust
Server Hoopies
Eye-Crunchies
Fleabitten Cheerleaders
Automatique
Viagra Barbie
Priests of Lloyd
Passionate Poppin' Popes
Avocado Moment
Pink Freaks
Vomit Puppies
Vermicious Knids
Spiffy Lobsters
Mom's Chevy
Irish Swing Trees
Ear Thug
Mozart's Left Nut
ToyBucket
11 Herbs and Spices
Basil Invasion
Streakin' Weasel
Pubic Enemy
Samoan Trolls
Speedy Recovery
Gandhi Side Dish
Into the When
Cold Sore
12-Inch Nobodies
Fostertronic
Spamfan
Chattering Monks

Bouncing Crayfish.

(Thanks to Rifleman for describing the bizarre behavior of his insane 9th-grade biology teacher.)

Maki Vultures.

(Credit simply must go to FierceLocalQueen and Pilare...)

Many thanks to Wikipedia for being so inadvertently amusing.

Porn-Related Stubs.

Boyspanker.

(This is totally the fault of Jedi RobMo and WebSlinger, and I'm not going to begin to explain why.)

I cranked up the old Band Name Game program. *

Vertical Pioneer Void.
Yurt Yurt.
Sucker Whip.
Jagged Turgid Memory.
Unsettling Cash.

Why not? There's a band named Spock's Beard.

Asimov's Sideburns.

oh, let's thank Tempest

Necrotic Spider-Bites

TriAthlete needs more busy work, apparently

"I watched a little news excerpt last night / this morning about caged animals personifying us yet again.

Ready?

Smoking Monkey.”

Another supplied by former colleague, TriAthlete

Cart-Pusher

(His explanation "One of my cow-orkers was talking about working at {giant economy-of-scale store} somewhere in Indiana a few years ago and upon leaving, he decided to leave w/ something he could remember it by. So instead of snagging oh, say a TV. or a stereo-like. The flipping guy grabs some 4-5 employee T-shirts! FREAKING T-shirts man!!!!!!
However, on the back of the shirts (as opposed to the front with the {giant economy-of-scale store} name) they have the print reading… CART-PUSHER!")

A spate of new acts from booking agent NightSkye...

...inspired by ABC News' Strange Stories site (http//abclocal.go.com/wls/news/strange/)

Taser Reign
Insane Teddy
Poodle Jumper
Basement BBQ
Egg Plane
Ironic Homily
EMT-Shirts
Butthead Lake
Trans-Thiefery

(from back in January 2005.)

oooooh, shiny...... soft.....

GlitterBoob

(and I say it's all Metrocake's fault....)

Reve Gauche.

Playing their smash dance single, "Regurgitation"...

Hairball Management.

Kick-starting the martial-arts-rap-hillbilly-metal genre...

Iron Pumpkin.

(While visiting Mom in December 2004, she had me toting various holiday decorations around.
"Go downstairs and find the iron pumpkins...."
"The what?")

(Ah, I seemed to be channeling WryGuy that day....)

Nostril-Scrapin' Yokels.

Max HiLo.

Fear of the Dark Chocolate.

ER-OR-ICU.

Brainstem Roses.

Vlad Tapas.

Prophylactic Acid.

The Vulcan Stoners.

As suggested by RhAngel, from an e-mail exchange between us long ago.

Applied by Default.
Cheerfully Apathetic.
Fat Migration.
Incapacitated with Glee.
Curves are Good, Curves are Nice.

Electronic Band Name Game Results *

And, I dragged out the old vb4-code Band Name Generator Game I wrote, and made some results. Here are some of the better ones:

Furry Brown Feast.
Intense Sponge.
Entry Plethora.
Handy Canny Ploy.
Alkaloid Ego Punch.
Grilled Ploy.
Punch Flange.
Abrupt Porridge.
Space Sparse Gazebo.

Three possible Zappa tribute bands

Mother and the Provocative Squats.
Tinseltown Rebels.
Cosmik Debris Salvage Corporation.

People Taste Like Chicken.

Mule-Kick Wedding.

Hideous Cheese Cracks.

Sinners in Center.

Rampant Sleeve.

Blonde Frame Frenzy.

The Craft of Hate.

The Candi Evans Marching Band.

Kradle of Krust.

Technacolor Aristocrats.

(this one is all Jedi RobMo's fault. honest.)

I roomed with more than one in college.

Argumentative Matts.

HAS to be an Alice Cooper cover band

Department of Youth.

Sucker Punch Bowl.

Lichens to Chill.

Tube-Shootin' Skanks.

Who Spat Mom?

Evil Granny Rebellion.

CheeseGoth.

Yeah, role-playing games are to blame for these.

Leeches and Woofs.
Wolf-Pup Masquerade.

Lycopersiconthropy.

Cheat Sheets for the Revolution.

This was the nickname of one of my roommates in college.

Armchair Ninja.

Undoubtedly a They Might Be Giants cover band.

Don't Let's Start

Undoubtedly a Blue Oyster Cult cover band.

Cagey Creet'ns

Referral Madness.

The Jenna Massoli Church Choir.

Indecent Composure.

Wily Bi-Polar.

(Jedi RobMo is partially responsible for this.)

Ass-Jumpin' Parasites.

(This is aaaaaall Pterror's fault.)

SuperCarpalTunnelSuckers.

(I forget why SmooveDogg said this, but he did.)

Ovarian Thunder

(submitted by CooGWuh)

Bovine Intervention

(we simply must blame TriAthlete for this one.)

Guyanaberry Flavor.

Hypoallergenic Puppy.

Cats Going Through Puberty.

(a TriAthelete contribution)

Cherub Genitals.

Electrocuted Jesus.

(after reading an IMDB trivia piece stating that Jim Caviezel was hit by lightning while filming the Sermon on the Mount scene in The Passion of the Christ)

Platonic Ass.

Bears with Howitzers.

Chapped Udders.

(Thanks to my mom. While I was visiting her in December of 2003, my hands were dry, cracked, and bleeding, and she had some lotion in a cow-patterned container. When I commented on it, she said it's a lotion that the farmers use on their cows when the cows get chapped udders.
Ten seconds later, I had to explain to mom the concept of "What a Great Band Name!")

Aphasia Carrera.

Donkey Shavings.

(A TriAthlete / UIM Production.)

AssHair CombOver.

(Actually taken from a conversation with my boss at the time, Bubba Pan.)

Redneck Leprechauns.

(another TriAthlete suggestion.)

Raging Ahimsa.

Bourgeoisie Bacon.

(a TriAthlete solo act)

Shotgun Shenanigans.

(supplied by TriAthlete)

Nunsmackers.

The Bodacious Daffodils.

(stolen outright from Metrocake)

A list of Near-Misses from myself and the Schooner

Azure Mollusc Worshippers.
Cyanotic Bivalve Acolytes.
Turquoise Crustacean Apostles.
Iglesia del las Ostras Azules.
Aquamarine Ostreidae Sect.
Prussian Shellfish Religion.

Sick Cabinet Syndrome.

(thanks to FuzzyElf)

Crank Up the Nasty.

Translucent Blondes.

(thanks to TriAthlete)

Fishbong.

Butter Eagle.

Sweaty Eating

(thanks to Jedi RobMo)

Mighty Latin Insane Unknowns

(thanks to TriAthlete)

Pectoral Hemorrhage

(thanks to PogueMahone for the inspiration)

Minimum-Wage Popes.

Architects of Misdirection.

Adrenal Gland Meltdown.

A bunch of collaborations

Vomiting Cellophane (thanks to Pterror)
Cookie Dilemma (Thanks to NawlinsBelle)
Ed Nemia (thanks to TriAthlete)

TriAthelete and I then sat around coming up with songs to be performed by Ed Nemia - we've got "Low Iron Man" (a Sabbath tribute) and "Leucocyte Man" (A They Might Be Giants rip-off).

People Who Eat People.

Regional Rock

Wilmette Syndrome.
Skokie-Dokie.

inspired by some work stories from my dad.

Polycarbonate Soda
Hooray for Resin

The Last Known Goods.

Swedish Page-File Pump.

And booking agent WryGuy apparently has some acts that Statler and Waldorf booed off the Muppet Show.....

Bitch Sister Koule-Ayd Connection
Flaccid Pants Love Implosion
Butter Nut Butt Sluts
Magellan's Enema
V.D. and the Mold Infusion Possee
Biscuit Slappin Shoelace Jockeys

Plied with Pork.

Glorified Tatters,

Sawbuck Floozy.

Sin Crunch.

from booking agent WryGuy

Infectious Pants.
Kairbayre Acid Love Zombie.
Panty Crackers.
Lust Bucket Toffee Pull.
Sargeant Nipples.
Nurph Fandango.
Mr. Knees.
Bottleneck Jones.
Aardvark Hernia Scratch-N-Sniff Floss Party.

(Slight alterations made where the bands would get sued for copyright infringement.)

Burning Neurons.

The Tim's, they are a-changing.

Tim is Money
Where Does the Tim Go?
Just in Tim
No Tim Like the Present
Parzlee, Saje, Rozmaire, and Tim
Tim Can
No Tim to Lose
Tim's A-Wasting
Running Out of Tim
Tim After Tim
Inspector Tim

Dead Frog in Your Car.

Ridiculous Contraband.

Macroeconomic Hoes.

Autobon-bons.
Bath Toaster.

(Kudos to Nightskye.)

Butt Mushroom.

(Rifleman and Jedi RobMo are responsible for this one.)

Ice Cream Migraine.

(Thanks to Purge)

submitted by RhAngel (a long time ago)

Rolling Blakkout
A Mind to Waste

Disreputable Vicinity.

Omnicidal.

Too Much Needle.

Sigrid Numsenbauer Has No Hair.

Third Rail Senseless.

Someone Touched It.

Unattainable Ghoul.

Kill Quash.

Ingor Wedlebach's Triumph of Spoons.

Shouldn't Shouldn't Can't.

Abusing the Privilege.

Nerphguns or Butter

Froglauncher.

Blind and Pizza.

Xed Ping.

Dead Joke on the Floor.

Gutter Glass.

Pre-Natal Amusement Complex.

Sonic Groom.

Sygnal to Noize.

Trixie Detonation.

(Q: What would happen once Wicker Park reaches critical mass?)

Caffeine Vampires.

Fissionable Rodents.

the P!ss Rockets.

Go the H&ll Home, Freak.

Lizard Skin Scooter.

Bicameral Breakdown.

Mrs. Waphle's Dead.

Lact Naturally.

Anglo Momentum.

Szechuan Orientation.

Bard Sinistre.

Ricochet Fart.

I Lick The Wounds.

Mojochromatic.

Funktastic Spam Minstrels

Titantric.

(supplied by fiddledack@aol.com)

Vanilla Anglo.

Kippered Wingnut.

The Bama-Kane Blues Experience.

(Actually referring to characters in a Jimmy Buffett novel. My nerdiness expands in all directions.)

Disgusting Deltas.

Ayrburne Contaminents.

Sweet Lemon Burn.

Professah Snexx.

Melancholonic.

Happy Little Chainsaws

Digital Grandma.

Psychotic Flange.

Kiss This Koi.

Thirty Pounds of Monkey.

The StalacTights.

Frottage Cheese.

The Stereo Pings.

Kryptonite Cannolli.

The Menopausal Hens

SlapBacon

The Crusty Infestations.

(thanks to CooGWuh for this one)

Gloo Phactry.

Shemp Rope

Rhode Apple.

Nasal Scabies.

Giant Funky Sponge

Vasos Locos.

Estimated People.

Stainless-Steel Sphincter.

Cheese Whippets.

Peripheral VisionQuest.

Prevalent Fluid.

Dark-age Haggis.

Three Guys Named Ian.

Curse Cookie.

Fermenting Stomach.

Insipid Moisture.

Shortable People.

Persistent Adolescent Dweebs.

Verbally Blonde.

Hexagonal Obelisk.

Bacon Scalpel.

(After cutting the roof of my mouth on some sharp bacon.)

Dishpan Ass.

(Ghoddess help me, but Pterror is responsible for this one)

Hairy Hippie Wannabees.

Neanderthal Princess.

Sweating Oatmeal.

the Recycled Tattoos.

Hypersensitive Ass.

Grey Escargot Experience.
(thanks to Metrocake)

Band Names, Early Rock Style

Scuzzy Buss and the PortMappers.
Schaumburg and the Admiral.
Two Deals and the Wiggs.
John and the Synoptics.
Descartes Plus and the Ergo Sums.
Chasin' and the Argghoknots.
Ragged Sam and the Medico Rollers.
Plutocrat Whine and the Subsidies.
Cheese MacRind and the Fermenting Curdles.
MacTir and the Guttural Howls.
EEgo and the Idds.
Pete McBogg and the Trotters. (an Irish folk band)
Doc Watzn and the StakkDummps.
Otto Suggestive and the Placeboes. (Thanks to the Schooner.)
D. L. Elle and the Unhandled Exceptions.
Dirtee Dinguss and the Fungus Farm.
Slab and the Asphalts.
Black Jack McHole and the Ho' Risin' Event.
Ron McBong and the Huffers.
Roger Roger and the 10-4s.
Ned McHiddena and the Sublimbonals.
Jan Whatever and the Helpless Shrugs.
Rose McBloat and the Core Type Things.
Iggy Nominious and the Pariah Front.
Errol McPrend and the Zydeco Salesmen.
Gunther Sprach and the Zara Thrusters.
H. T. Emmell and the Dead Links.
Al Luzhion and the Invidious Comparisons.
A. P. Render and the Slow Learners.
Indiana Montoya and the Mangled References.
Yadda Yadda and the Pointless Gabble.
Kath Feen and the Java Junkies.
Al Pathee and the Willful Ignorants.
Irony Man and the Pernicious Anemics.
Hugh Saturation and the CYMKs.
Slurp Slurp and the Guzzles.
Oh-One and the Critical Fumbles.
Dee Twenty and the Saving Throws.
Callow Crass and the Rude Boys.
Ohm Watt and the Electric Resistance.
Obscene Vile and the Prurient Interests.
Shami Kebab and the Vindaloos.
Sister Anna Cension and the Nuns of the Above.
Hugh Wyemm and the Dead Jokes.
Teresa Noblesse and the Fake Ideas.
Lowe Standard and the Easy Action.
Florrie Guilder and the Swamp Rats.
Ray X and the Inside Looks.
Snooze Button and the Procrastinators.
Skippy Needle and the Warped Grooves.
Naughty Les and the Cochlear Subs.
Grania Gratia and the Thankful Pirates.
O'Donner and the Grecian Urns.
Ozzy Mandias and the Trunkless Legs.
Des Pair and the Gothabees.
Sam Geyser and the Waterblasts.
Rasta Frassin and the Red Dreads.
Pig Stigh and the Angry Mudders.
Cyan Wave and the Stable Orbits.
Mary Calliope and the Dizzy Blondes.
Diana Hunter and the Palace Athenas.
Radia Spoke and the Arch-Tangents.
Cosecant and the Unknown Twins.
Rubble Baby and the Buggy Bumpers.
Ol' Factory and the Panty-Sniffers.
Fungal McSpore and the Epiphytes.
A I Gole and the Turings.

Removable Booty.

TaxiSmacker.

Raspberry Privileges.

Crap Attack.

Baby Scuzz.

Space-Age Polymers.

Trigger-Happy Goons.

Something in the boys room....

the Stall Rockers (thanks to PortlandPunk)
the Euronals (a UIM / PortlandPunk production)
the Frosted Urinal Cakes

Nerph-Brain Minions.

(This actually came about because of a story written by one of my colleagues, where the foam-rubber brain on my desk was actually a sentient alien lifeform, taking over various people at the company.)

Shark Burps.

I have no idea why I thought of these.

Spermicidal Salad.
Kay-Why Dressing.

Hot Broccoli.

Sebaceous Secretions.

Horse with Blenders.

Some Near-Misses

Blue Löbster Cult
Metallical
Aerosmitten
Nick Cage and the Bad Seeds
Godsmooch
SUV Halen
Dimecherry
Grand Funk Shuttlebus
Secundus

Bob Ross Guerrilla Army.

Shocking Nipples. *

Strawjammers.

Grunting Fiancee.

Confetti Fodder.
Shard Salad.
Hot-Swap Shredder.

(We had too much inappropriate fun with the portable shredder.)

Dysfunctional Mouthfuls.

Christ's Armadillo.

Count Thread and the Double-Rubs.

(My former boss, Bubba Pan, is a maniac in so many ways. Especially in comparison shopping. When dealing with fabrics, he'll break peoples' balls about the thread count (weight of the material) and the double-rub rating (sturdiness of the material).)

Disc array issues lead to silliness

Raid-Level Pi
Raid Forest

Sticky Meme.

Tonsorial Splendor.

Poultry Hammer of the Gods.

Tastes Like Larry.

Inadvertent Slut.

Flaming Waiters.

Butterfly Jump.

Familiar Cacti. *

Voluntarily Nutless. *

Amnesia Witches. *

The first time I met the blues.....

Flatulent Peaches Nixon
Wheezy Blackberry Buchanan
Constipated Cherimoya Roosevelt
Diuretic Kumquat Reagan
Incontinent Kiwi Washington
Stinky Ripbone

(The first five items here were crafted from the formula "disabilty + fruit + president". I have forgotten who wrote that formula first, but obviously they had Blind Lemon Jefferson (a real blues artist) in mind.
The sixth item was after a particularly nasty bout of gas, wherein CooGWuh referred to me as 'Stinky Ripbone' for about three days.)

Tomato Ruckus.

Subtle Mucous.

Herring Backblast.

Hairy Homonculus.

A really bad theme day in the operations room.

Sparkly Buttocks.
Salad Tossers.

Gassy Pooch.

Five o'clock Shadow.

Analhair Pasta.

Cymbal Shepherd.

I was in a metal mood that day

Thrust. *
Polyester Umlaut.
Aneurysm.

(With umlauts over all the 'u's.)

Stench Barrel. *

Lickable Squatting Bleu-Cheese. *

Sweltering Speed. *

Antsy Cornflakes. *

Territorial Leather. *

Vibrating German Weasels. *

Deranged Crotch Traders. *

Plant Lizard. *

Mob Milkmaid. *

Scandinavian Air. *

Groovy Fresh Mob. *

Frigid Rubber Scandal. *

All WryGuy's fault

Ass-Grabbing Crack Addicts. *

(He deliberately put "ass-grabbing" under adjectives, and "Crack Addicts" under noun, hoping that someone would roll it up. And someone did.)

Arrogant Weiner. *

Handcream Bob. *

Phallic Cereal. *

Crotch Santa. *